46: How do you teach your child to sit in the adult chair?

The Adult Chair Episode 46

If you’re a human parent, you’ve probably faced some version of this question. How do you teach your kids how to be emotionally present in the world? How to protect themselves and be assertive, and how to live with grace and compassion all at the same time?

The answer is both incredibly complicated, and deceptively simple: you can’t.

And that’s where we pick up on the show today, taking on the assumptions we make and the stories we tell ourselves that lead to frustration and shame in our ability to parent. The truth is that in spite of your perceived lack of control, you’re probably doing fine, and I can’t wait to tell you why — just listen in this week and you’ll find out!

45: How do you set the tone for your day?

Mindfulness with Michelle Chalfant The Adult Chair Podcast

So many clients have been coming to me dealing with daily stress. You know the feeling — you might not be able to put your finger on it, but the accumulation of stressors in your life feel like 10,000 pounds on your back.

There is no one grand solution, rather a journey of many steps, and an easy one you can take right now today, is to focus on the way you start your day, and set the tone for everything that comes before you. Are you looking at your day with frustration and impatience? Or are you looking over your day with peace and gratitude?

Today, we’re going to focus on setting the tone for our day with grace! Starting with a quick 1-minute breathing exercise that you can do anywhere, you can slowly start to build the habit of mindfulness that will become the foundation for everything you do!

1-Minute Relaxation Meditation

5-Minute Self-Love Meditation

44: Introvert or Extrovert — Which one are you?

The Adult Chair 44 — Introverts and Extroverts

“Sometimes I think my son is a complete shut-in.”
“I just need to escape.”
“Crowds make me feel like my world is closing in.”

What do you think about when you read those lines? Familiar? Foreign? Frustrating? These lines all come from people trying to understand where they and their loved ones relate to their personality orientation: Extroverts or Introverts.

If you’ve ever taken a behavior indicator like Myers Briggs, you have probably received a score that rates you on the introversion/extroversion scale. Like all things related to personality, we exist on spectrum. And understanding who we are at our core can help us better relate to the world around us and feel more comfortable in our skins at the same time!

I’ve had this on my list of things to talk about with you all for over a year so I’m thrilled that Pete and I have finally managed to get it on the schedule. I hope our conversation inspires you to get to know yourself better, and think more critically about how you relate to your loved ones, too.

43: Living Through Cancer in The Adult Chair

Living through Cancer in The Adult Chair with Michelle Chalfant

This is another of our very special episodes! Connie is a client and dear friend and has joined me today for a conversation around her experience from the beginning of her diagnosis with aggressive breast cancer, through resolution. We talk about how we use The Adult Chair model to help us navigate trauma not just in recovery, but in the process of experiencing it. As Connie says, “It helped me feel like I wasn’t just thrown to the wolves in this, that I was in balance, and brought me back into my body.”

Such a powerful story. I hope you’re able to join us today!

42: Inviting your Relationship into the Adult Chair with Michelle and Graham Chalfant

Pete Wright Michelle Chalfant Graham Chalfant The Adult Chair

Worlds collide! This week on the show, for the very first time in over three years, Pete and I got to meet face-to-face! Even better than that, sitting together in a hotel lobby/swimming pool in Seattle, Pete and I finally recorded the long-awaited conversation with my husband Graham on communication and inviting the relationship into the Adult Chair when we’re triggered.

As it turned out, this was a much broader conversation that we’d intended. Graham is in an interesting position; as someone who has experience with my work at home, and certainly well-versed in using the Adult Chair in our marriage, his insights on how the Adult Chair support him at work with his peers are illuminating (if I do say so myself!).

Join us, and share your thoughts! This was a really fun conversation and we’re looking forward to more — how is the Adult Chair supporting you at home and at work?

XO,

 

41: Breaking Down Barriers in The Adult Chair with “Liz”

The Adult Chair episode 41

Today I’m celebrating my friends! A few weeks back I shared an incredible meal with some of my closest friends and, if you’re a listener of this show you can imagine what came up: The Adult Chair. We got to talking about how we can use the Adult Chair to remove blocks and create new pathways for love and growth.

Later that day, one of the women at brunch called me to tell me about how she was able to use the Adult Chair model in her own life that afternoon! She was kind enough to allow me to share that conversation with you all today. So thank you to “Liz” for your willingness to share your experience and teach the rest of us in the process!

 

 

40: Finding the Motivation to Change with Dr. Ted Klontz

The Adult Chair Ted Klontz Motivation to Change

We all get lost. It’s perfectly natural as human beings to get stuck in the forest, to get scared of the dark, to get lonely and feel our courage drift away. As our guest today so rightly shares, “we have to get used to the weirdness of being human beings.” That’s when we’re able to find the strength, the motivation, the courage to make change in our lives and approach the world with strength.

I’m so excited to introduce you all to Dr. Ted Klontz. Ted is a psychologist based in Nashville and he’s here today because he’s a pioneer in the development and application of tools and techniques that help people to change their troublesome behaviors. He’s an author, having written or contributed to six books on Behavioral Finance, and is co-founder of Your Mental Wealth™ and the Financial Psychology Institute™. He’s a published researcher, speaker, trainer and facilitator, and he travels the world working with professional athletes, entertainers, high profile families, couples, and individuals, as well as the average citizen. As a participant in Ted’s workshops I can tell you first hand that his work is truly transformational, and I’m proud to introduce him to The Adult Chair audience today!

Links & Notes

38: Who's sitting in my Adolescent Chair?

Who's in my adolescent chair — the adult chair 38 Michelle Chalfant

Just because we might be considered adults chronologically doesn’t mean we’re always acting our age! That’s the psychological trick of the Chairs, and this week I hope to give you all some clarification. Our goal here is to uncover where we are at any given moment, which chair we’re using to relate to the world, and get to know that part of us free from judgement. 

Our Adolescent Chair is here to protect you. Get to know it, thank it, then let it know that you’ve got this and can move into your Adult Chair. Today, we’re talking about finding that Adult Chair before the trap door closes and we’re stuck using our more limited adolescent skills, and we define some of the skills required to maintain our sense of center and stay in our Adult.

Links & Notes

36: Mindfulness and Sitting in our Negative Emotions

The Adult Chair Michelle Chalfant Ep 36 Mindfulness

You can’t heal negative emotions. They exist, and we all move in and out of them throughout our days, weeks … our whole lives. But with an understanding of the power of mindfulness, it is possible to come to terms with our negative emotions, and to find peace, solace, and understanding. This week on the show, we’re talking about both the internal and external tools you can use to sit in your negative emotions free of judgment and shame. Join us for this conversation, and let’s all invite our emotions to tea!

Links & Notes

35: Parenting in the 21st Century — Growing Healthy Teens with guest Dr. James Wellborn

As our guest today, Dr. James Wellborn joins to help us continue our conversation on conscious parenting, this time from the perspective of our teens. From anxiety and social pressures, to technology and networks, to access to porn and other adult material that we’re still learning to counsel through, this conversation is for all parents learning to help their kids transition to healthy adulthood!

34: How do we become Conscious Parents?

The Adult Chair Podcast 34 Conscious Parenting

Becoming a conscious parent means getting to know yourself well enough that you don’t let your own emotions get in the way of understanding who your kids are growing up to be. That’s harder than it sounds, and requires you to sit firmly in your Adult Chair the older they get. This week on the show, I’ve got five strategies that will help you not only relate to your kids without judgment, but understand them and protect them, too!

 

32: Returning to your Seat of Power

Some days, it just feels like the world is conspiring against you. These are the days that shake our confidence, our sense of peace, our ability to relate to others — they’re the worst! The trick to living in The Adult Chair is not developing some magical skill to erase these days from your life. It’s developing the skill to recognize when you’ve been knocked out of The Adult Chair, and to move yourself back into it to rediscover your Seat of Power! Today on the show, I’m sharing my own Day of Days and some key strategies I use to find my way back to my Adult Chair.

31: Learning to Date Yourself

Michelle Chalfant The Adult Chair 31 Learning to Date Yourself

It’s February! With all the talk of love in the air leading into this Valentine’s Day weekend, we thought it just the right time to share our own spin on romance: learning to date yourself! This is such an important concept, and it challenges one of the fundamental marketing messages of romantic partnership: the truth is, we don’t find a partner to complete us! That’s a trap! Don’t fall for it! This week, we’ll tell you all about it, and give you the tools you need to date yourself first, so you’ll be a better partner for someone else!

30: The Code author Tony Burroughs on Intention and The Highest Good

Envision Only Positive Outcomes

So says Tony Burroughs this week as we continue our conversation on intentionality. Tony’s work is all around intentions; he’s co-founder of The Intenders of the Highest Good and one of his greatest gifts to all of us is the practice of the Intender’s Circles, now a global community of people joining together to envision a better world, and find greater personal alignment in it.