Have you ever noticed how quickly we are to judge ourselves? We are GREAT at beating ourselves up, not letting ourselves forget the tiniest mistake we made but when we do something good or right the only voice we may or may not hear comes from people outside of ourselves.
When we rely on “outside voices” alone, we become dependent on others for our well deserved thanks, praise or validation. We give away our power, hoping to get it back, delivered by someone else!
Our goal is to become our own biggest cheerleaders! Unfortunately, this takes practice as we are not very good at it.
The good news is by practicing this for about a month, it re-wires the brain to where it becomes a habit. Yes, it becomes natural, our new normal.
How do we do this?
We must become aware in the moment of even our little things.
For example, I have learned that getting up at 6am to wake my kids up, make their lunches and drive them to school, makes me a great mom, and I tell myself so. I literally say to myself, “I am a great mother.” Even though these things seem like a given or part of our job description, it doesn't matter. I still remind myself. I don't really have to do any of those things but I enjoy doing them for my kids. Remember, it's the little things like this that we go out of our way to do that need some "self-cheering."
When I head out to the yard in the spring and fall to plant new flowers, I remind myself how much I enjoy gardening and planting. I may say to myself, "I am wonderful at helping with the yard and I really enjoy this."
Just the other day, I was bantering with a guy at Home Depot and I had thoroughly enjoyed myself. I walked away and we were both laughing. I said to myself, "I really enjoy people and am such a nice person."
We don’t need anything big to happen to say nice things to ourselves. We just have to start to become aware, see and remind ourselves of how amazing we are, how wonderful and loving. Sadly, we don’t sort for these small moments of kindness, we expect them, but we sort for out mess up’s, and our mind never lets us forget them.
By the way, I am not recommending that you go tell others about what a wonderful person you are (that would be bragging). I'm recommending that you tell yourself. This is about reminding yourself how wonderful you are in the small moments to balance out the critical mind. Have you noticed how much easier it is to condemn ourselves than cheer ourselves on? We need more balance and self love in our lives. This practice helps with this.
Over time, when we begin noticing and validating the small stuff, the nice things we do, the critical voice gets quieter. Eventually, we will not choose our critical voice to remind us anymore. When it pops in on occasion, we can thank it for the reminder of our mess up and move on.
So go find your pom pom’s and start to cheer the heck out of yourself! You deserve it and I am sure it’s long over due.