Want to End Suffering?

  Photo:  Jesus Solana

I have read for years that suffering is product of the mind. It made sense to me but didn’t fully get it until recently.

Suffering happens when the mind continues to want things and create stories and assumptions about how to get “that” or if we had “this” we would be happy and until we have “that” we will remain stuck and unhappy.

I have been practicing “letting go” and realize this is how we can end suffering.

Throughout life, we think and believe what our mind is telling us. We forget we have a choice in what we believe. We fall into a trap or a rut from repeated negative thinking that leads to suffering, and feel we can’t get out, we are stuck.

We all have thoughts like, “I’m too big, too small, my car isn’t nice, it’s too nice, I don’t make enough money, I’m lonely, No one likes me, I’m a failure, a fraud, my partner/spouse is going to leave me, If I only had… etc  The list goes on.

These are all stories from our mind.  When we are speaking from this part of us, it’s the part of us that is based in survival, where our ego resides and makes up stories and assumptions to keep us safe.  It’s also the part that blames others for (what it thinks are) our shortcoming’s and won’t let go, which keeps us in victim consciousness.  

What to do?

What we want to do to end suffering is to slide into our “Adult Chair.” This is the part of us that is conscious, lives in the moment and can let things go. It also is the only part of us that is truly authentic. 

From here, we learn to watch our thoughts as if someone outside of us is speaking them. This is a function of our Adult Chair, the part that is the observer. 

When we are in our “Adult chair” we can recognize our stories, and have the ability choose if they are true or not. Then we are free and our suffering can end.

I had been carrying around a story for the least few years that clearly wasn’t serving me but my ego wanted me to be right and wouldn’t let me drop it. I knew I was in the victim seat but didn’t care.

I made the decision to watch my thoughts and detach from them, to stop taking it personally and making up stories in my mind. I became the observer of this scenario and the victim feeling melted away.  From this mindset, I was able to let it go and I felt free, no more suffering. I was truly amazed and so grateful, just wished I had done it sooner! It can be that easy, give it a try.