Thanks for Listening...or Not


Someone says or does something not so nice to you and you feel so angry that you have to call someone else to tell them about it, we call it venting. We tell the whole story, every detail, sometimes yelling, screaming or maybe even have a shocked tone to our voice and say something like, “Can you believe so-and-so did that to me???”  “The nerve of them!” We get the validation from our friend or family member that we were right and “the culprit” is totally wrong. At the end of the conversation, when we are done venting, we say to our friend, “Thanks for Listening.”

When we take into consideration the Law of Attraction which states, “like attracts like”, or “what you think (or talk) about comes about,” do we really want to be telling our story all over again, creating more of what we don’t want? The irony is that we thank our friends for helping us to create more of the same exact thing that made us upset to begin with!

The world we live is in a mirror for all of our thoughts and beliefs. When someone gossips about you, it’s because you gossip too (even if it's only once in awhile). When someone treats you with disrespect they are simply mirroring the disrespect that you feel toward yourself, but are unwilling to look at. When a parent allows their child to yell at them, and does not discipline them, on some level the parent believes they deserve it.

A client of mine was pregnant with her 2nd child and continuously thought that something bad was going to happen to her baby. She weekly attracted in women that told her horrifying stories about their complications with pregnancy and/or the birthing experience. When she and her husband excitedly shared the news of being pregnant with baby #2 with her mother in law, the response was that she was not going to say anything to anyone in case she had a miscarriage! (By the way, her mother in law did not say this when hearing the news of baby #1).

She lived with stories like this for months. She came for a session I asked her why she was attracting in all of these people and their terrible stories. Because like thoughts/beliefs attract like thoughts/beliefs and experiences, we decided to examine her beliefs around this baby. We found her belief to be that she did not deserve to have another healthy child, since she had already had one. We worked through that belief and shifted her worthiness around having another healthy child. THAT DAY was the last day she heard any horrifying stories about child birth, problems with pregnancy and the loss of a child. Her thoughts and beliefs had changed and her new experiences reflected that.

The only part of us that enjoys (and needs) to tell “our story” and how we were hurt is our ego/mind. It is looking for validation that it is right and the other person is in the wrong.

The empowering thing to do when something negative happens in life, is to become aware of our part in attracting it. We need to look in the mirror and take responsibility for our thoughts and beliefs. These are the very things that create our negative and positive life events. We have no one to blame for a negative event but ourselves and our sloppy thinking/beliefs. Look at each negative event as a gift. It’s the gift of showing us which limiting thoughts/beliefs to clean up to change our life for the better.