We say it all the time, “I should have…” or “You should have…” Have you ever noticed how terrible "should" makes us feel? How disempowering and shaming it is? Energetically the word "should" vibrates very low in fact if you take a moment right now and say it in a sentence out loud, notice how it makes you feel physically. For example, “I should have said something." Try it now out loud.
Do you notice any tightness in your body? Do you notice how your body feels heavier in certain areas or generally all over? It’s because you are speaking a word that has a very low energetic vibration.
When we replace “should” with “could” it completely changes the energy. “I could have said something.” How does it make you feel to use “could” instead? There is no shame in the word "could" in fact it creates possibilities and options. For example, the same sentence could look like this, "I could have said something, but I didn't and tomorrow I will.” This statement feels much more empowering.
We coast through life, typically unaware of how words make us feel. When we begin to pay attention, we notice how words create a feeling within our bodies. We either tense up or feel expanded and free, depending on the words we choose. We need to be conscious about our words and choose wisely. Paying attention to our bodies and how we feel, is a great indicator of the energy a word carries.
Spend a day tracking the word should and notice how often it comes up, I think you will be amazed. "I should have not eaten that." "I should have not said that." "I should have been stronger for him/her." etc. The list goes on and on. It slips out and we are not typically tuned into how bad it makes us feel, how punishing that word can be.
We can begin to free ourselves of shame by simply replacing one word. It’s a simple tip with empowering results, and it will create the opposite effects of shame So stop "shoulding" yourself and use the word could instead. It replaces shame with acceptance and kindness. Who can’t use more of that?