One of the most important relationships we can have is with ourselves. We live in a go go go society and spend little time checking in with ourselves and noticing what we are feeling.
One of the keys to healing and living authentically is to know what we are feeling. Our feelings are powerful and most of us shy away from (or are terrified) of our negative feelings.
We have a full spectrum of emotions and they all land somewhere between love and fear. Most people let themselves allow either happy or sad in and stop there. This stopping or blocking our feelings limits us and our potential for full living. The further we can venture down the "negative emotional side" of the spectrum the opposite holds true and the more love, joy and happiness we can experience.
Here is a secret....we ALL experience loneliness, shame, “I'm a fraud,” “I don't matter” “I’m a failure” etc. but we spend our lives trying to cover these types of feelings up. We believe we are the only one that feels this way. We use vice after vice but they don't stop rising up. When we can allow ourselves to feel them, we are set free. We realize we won't die (this is the unconscious fear of feeling negative emotions).
We don't learn how to feel our feelings, (our parents didn't teach us), in fact most people encourage us to "get over it" and "move on" when we are in a negative state.
I heard Jill Bolte Taylor say that when we are fully feeling an emotion, it only lasts about 90 seconds! The reason our feelings linger is because we sit in resistance to them. The mind gets in a battle with the body. The body has the emotion rising up and the mind pushes it down. So we get stuck in it, lingering in our pain.
Our goal is to allow all of our feelings come up and pass through us. The next time you feel like reaching for a glass of wine or that piece of cake, or zoning out on tv, ask yourself what you are feeling first. Sit in it and breathe it through. Watch what happens to your "craving." You may be surprised.