If Only I Had...THEN I Would Be Happy.

Fill in the blank…What do you THINK will make you happy? So many of us get on that hamster wheel of happiness only to hit dead end after dead end. It seems happiness can come briefly then we go on a hunt for it again. How do we make it stick?

I myself look back and thought (like most girls) that getting married will make me happy, then the build-up of the wedding happens and it’s bliss, bliss, bliss. After the wedding, “normalcy” sets in then I said, “Time for a baby!” Then a new bigger car to accommodate all of these babies and stuff.

Every “new” thing that happens in our lives brings a burst of (temporary) happiness and joy then normalcy sets in.

Our ego/mind is on a quest,  promising to find happiness for us and continues to find new things to create what it thinks is the end of the road, true happiness, then that too fades. Then the search goes on again.

In the last 15 years, we have lived in 5 houses, ranging from inexpensive to very expensive and we have rented and owned. I was no more or less happy because of any of those houses. We have had money in the last 15 years and almost lost all of it a couple years ago, same feelings-no more or less happy with our without money.

So what is the answer!??

As the saying goes…”Happiness in an inside job.”

This could not be more true. It does come from inside and not the mind. Our ego/mind thinks it knows the way to happiness and sends us like a dog chasing its’ tail to find it, but we never do.

So how do we find true happiness?

We get off the treadmill and spend time in the moments of life. When we appreciate the small stuff we find that is where the most giant happiness is hiding but we look above and beyond it, in search of something bigger.

It’s when we finally slow down and notice that it’s right in front of us and always has been.

When we stop in the moment and appreciate, we find joy.

For example, when the person at the grocery store is struggling to get out the door with her hands full and we stop and hold the door for her and she responds, “Thank you so much,” with eye contact, we must stop to feel that response. In the feeling is when we know we are experiencing joy and happiness.

When my sister sends me a card for no reason at all, just to say hi and that she loves me, I sit in the moment and feel that. THAT brings me joy and happiness.

My son has a unique good night kiss that’s just for me and him. When we are done, I look in his eyes with such love and gratitude. THAT brings me tremendous joy.

How about noticing our beautiful outside, nature, look at the flowers, beautiful trees or even a plant in your house!

There is so much to stop and notice that we miss because we are looking elsewhere.

Many of us live life so unconsciously, we don’t know if we are happy, sad or just existing. If you are an “existers” why not exist with happiness and joy instead of just living the routine of life?

In the moments of life, when we can stop, notice and feel the joy and happiness we find that those moments begin to grow. Before we know it we are walking around most of the day just being happy and we don’t even know why.

What’s happens is in those mini moments of joy, we rest in the heart and the heart is where God (or something greater than us) resides. Ultimately we are connecting to God every time we stop, notice and feel and taking power from the ego.

It’s time to lessen the power our ego’s have over us, alert it that it’s not in charge anymore. True happiness awaits, it’s waiting for us in the heart.