Have you ever paid attention to how often our minds judge others? How about ourselves? We are too much of this and not enough of that. We judge for what they/we look like, too pretty or not pretty enough, over weight, too skinny, just perfect. We judge for what they/we say or don’t say, how they/we act or don’t act. Maybe someone has too much money, too big of a house or not big enough. It goes on and on.
Our ego’s job is keep us safe, and unfortunately it learns to do this with criticizing/judging to keep us in line. The problem is that it gets out of control and if we paid attention for a day, and really tuned into our thoughts, we would realize that this judgment is happening throughout most of our waking hours.
Have you ever noticed how it feels when we judge something about our selves or others? The next time you notice your mind doing this, tune into your body and notice the tension, the heavy feeling. We call this a contracted state.
Steps to change:
1. We first must become aware of our thoughts and notice when we are judging. Become the observer, get curious about the ego/mind and what it’s thinking and judging. 2. Look at the person or object we are about to judge and see the good in them/it. Anything at all, even if it’s the tiniest thing. 3. If you can think of nothing at all, send them love from your heart. Just imagine a stream of love extending from your heart to them or the object.
These 3 small tasks will begin to change our minds, our brain’s neuro-pathways. They literally begin to change our brain’s habits of thought.
After practicing for a while, it gets easier and we notice our new way of thinking is more positive, we begin to feel lighter. We notice we feel more expanded, more open. We feel better about ourselves.
People in our life serve as mirrors for us. When we feel good with someone, we are noticing and feeling our own goodness. When we are with others that bring up irritation, anger or frustration, we are simply feeling our own irritation, anger and frustration WITHIN OURSELVES. Others mirror OUR ISSUES.
The 3 small steps above can change how we feel about ourselves.
The end result? We are easier on ourselves, we become supportive and encouraging of ourselves. We begin to have more and more self love. Who doesn’t need more of that?