Are YOU a Victim?

Do you feel overwhelmed? Do you blame others for your pitfalls in life? Do you have an “I can’t” attitude? Is your typical response to a problem, “I can’t handle this!”  Is your glass half empty? If you do, it sounds like you are living from the victim state of mind. Likewise, do you take responsibility for your life… the good and the bad? Do you feel like anything is possible? Are you able to stay in emotional balance when life around you looks like it’s falling apart? Is your typical response to a challenge, “I can handle it!” Is your glass half full? If answering yes to these questions, you live with an empowered state of mind.

After searching for the gray area, I can’t come up with one. I have observed my own life and others and noticed how we either feel we can handle something or feel we can’t. It’s very black and white. Throughout the day we may shift into one state or the other. The question we need to ask ourselves is, “What is my dominant state?” Am I a victim??


  1. Say I CAN!

One of the first things to do is for 30 days when presented with an opportunity that creates stress for us is to respond with “I CAN.” When we commit and then follow through and experience success we realize we CAN do life. It changes the brain and how we respond to challenges. It becomes our new norm. We realize when we push through that we can do what we thought we couldn’t! We must feel the fear and do it anyway.

The results from just this action step? Raised self esteem, confidence and empowerment!  This is just the beginning as this step creates a snow ball effect. We observe more and more empowered changes in our life as time goes on.

2. Touch our Heart

The part of us that feels like, “I can’t” is a part of us that is NOT connected to our higher self. It’s our ego/mind attempting to keep us safe.  The problem is that it’s on overdrive, way too extreme; it’s keeping us small and afraid. The fear it presents makes us feel unsafe and prevents us from living and feeling empowered, it keeps us stuck. Basically, the ego/mind has too much power. In order to balance this imbalanced energy, we want to “feel” our way through a challenge. How we do this is to stop, place our hand on our heart, close our eyes and breathe slowly through the belly (see video on Proper Breathing). This connects us to our higher self, our true self and shifts us into our empowered state.

3. Criss Cross

If the idea of doing saying yes to something  is causing mental, emotional or physical stress or fear do the Criss Cross technique to regain emotional balance. This technique can diffuse anxiety/fear quickly and easily. Simply put one wrist over the other, move your thumbs down and clasp the hands and cross at the ankles. Sit back, close your eyes and relax in this position. Take a few slow, deep belly breathes. Next, imagine the event that you said yes to (or want to say yes to). Imagine yourself in the event, doing it. Allow the anxiety to rise up and feel it. Continue to breath and just allow it to rise up, through and out of your consciousness. Continue to imagine the event, from start to finish, over and over until all of the anxiety has subsided.  Make sure to place all of your fears in your visualization. For example, if it’s a public speaking event and you are afraid you will forget your speech, imagine yourself forgetting your speech.  Take your visualization to the worst case scenario, stay crossed over and replay in your mind over and over again. This technique diffuses anxiety and fears from an experience that we are going to have in the future (but you can also use this for a past event as well.)

That’s IT! These 3 concepts will begin the shift to a life of empowerment. Now remember, this is a journey and it won’t happen overnight, however, by practicing these concepts, the brain will reprogram itself and you will notice a shift in how you respond to life’s challenges and issues quite quickly. The brain is the only thing that limits our greatness.  If in the victim consciousness, it’s the mind/ego telling us "we can’t" and  "feel sorry for me because I can't" and "my life is so tough". The ego says, “stay safe.” It feeds us our fears and keeps us feeling small. The heart is where we can expand into our empowered state, feel our greatness and make decisions easily that empower us.  It’s time to live life to the fullest,  make the shift and find our true self.