The Power of Acceptance

When faced with a situation that you cannot control, one that makes you angry, sad, depressed, or frustrated, there is great power in acceptance. When finding out your best friend is moving or your husband wants a divorce or a parent is dying, our first response is to stop it. After finding ourselves emotionally exhausted, drained, and hopeless, we still try to figure out how to prevent it from happening.

When we are confronted with a situation that we cannot repair, the next step — simply for our own well-being — is acceptance. Put down your boxing gloves and just accept what is happening. It’s out of your control. By accepting the situation, our life energy is able to flow again, the depression, anxiety, and rage dissipates and the dust settles. Clarity is the predominant state when we choose to accept a situation that we cannot change.

Acceptance is not for the benefit of the other person, it is for you and your own healing.

Living from the Heart

Live from the Heart

In the face of distraction

How often do we hear, “How does that make you feel?” versus “What do you think about…?” When we begin asking ourselves “How does this make me feel” throughout the day we begin to shift our energy into the right brain, the intuitive, feeling part of our brain. This is where we connect into our essence, our soul, God. This question pulls our energy from the head and places it in our heart.

Many of us sit with unanswered questions about a relationship, a job, moving etc. we try so hard to ‘figure it out’ (which puts our energy in the head) when all we need to do is ‘sit with it’ in the heart and feel our truth. When we choose to feel something we get the answer from our divine essence, our soul, it’s the highest truth. We cannot get it wrong.

Start asking yourself, “how does this make me feel?” Then come up with your feeling. Just be with it. There is nothing to ‘do’ with it. When we feel like we would like to take action or tell someone etc. we have shifted back into our left brain, our logical side, we have given power to the ego to take over. The ego reacts from fear, this will get us nowhere. Staying in the heart is the most empowering choice we can make for ourselves.

I noticed while stopping at a red light yesterday, I (unconsciously) picked up my cell phone. I was going to read a text and email. I instead sat there, radio off, put the phone down and asked myself ‘how do I feel?’ I was surprised to find that I felt uncomfortable with sitting there doing nothing! So I sat with my ‘uncomfortable’ feeling. This feeling dissipated after a minute and then I felt neutral. I was so excited that I pushed through! It was incredibly empowering. Every other red light I came to I just sat in the present moment and was ‘with’ myself, completely. It felt amazing!

We can't minimize the little moments like the red lights. We must find a present moment and stay in our feeling place with the big moments and small. In our society we have a million things that can distract us and pull our attention away from the present moment, cell phones, texting, email, and computers are some of the biggest.

By continuing to ask ourselves this question, neurological pathways will re-route in the brain. Before you know it you will not have to think to ask yourself this question, it will become automatic.

When we are with our feelings, good or bad, we will stop reacting to what people say or do. The moment we react, we have given our power away, no one can take our power, it is only given. Sit and feel to find your truth, and hold your power. Ask yourself the question, “How does this make me feel?”, and change your life forever.

Thanks for Listening...or Not

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Someone says or does something not so nice to you and you feel so angry that you have to call someone else to tell them about it, we call it venting. We tell the whole story, every detail, sometimes yelling, screaming or maybe even have a shocked tone to our voice and say something like, “Can you believe so-and-so did that to me???”  “The nerve of them!” We get the validation from our friend or family member that we were right and “the culprit” is totally wrong. At the end of the conversation, when we are done venting, we say to our friend, “Thanks for Listening.”

When we take into consideration the Law of Attraction which states, “like attracts like”, or “what you think (or talk) about comes about,” do we really want to be telling our story all over again, creating more of what we don’t want? The irony is that we thank our friends for helping us to create more of the same exact thing that made us upset to begin with!

The world we live is in a mirror for all of our thoughts and beliefs. When someone gossips about you, it’s because you gossip too (even if it's only once in awhile). When someone treats you with disrespect they are simply mirroring the disrespect that you feel toward yourself, but are unwilling to look at. When a parent allows their child to yell at them, and does not discipline them, on some level the parent believes they deserve it.

A client of mine was pregnant with her 2nd child and continuously thought that something bad was going to happen to her baby. She weekly attracted in women that told her horrifying stories about their complications with pregnancy and/or the birthing experience. When she and her husband excitedly shared the news of being pregnant with baby #2 with her mother in law, the response was that she was not going to say anything to anyone in case she had a miscarriage! (By the way, her mother in law did not say this when hearing the news of baby #1).

She lived with stories like this for months. She came for a session I asked her why she was attracting in all of these people and their terrible stories. Because like thoughts/beliefs attract like thoughts/beliefs and experiences, we decided to examine her beliefs around this baby. We found her belief to be that she did not deserve to have another healthy child, since she had already had one. We worked through that belief and shifted her worthiness around having another healthy child. THAT DAY was the last day she heard any horrifying stories about child birth, problems with pregnancy and the loss of a child. Her thoughts and beliefs had changed and her new experiences reflected that.

The only part of us that enjoys (and needs) to tell “our story” and how we were hurt is our ego/mind. It is looking for validation that it is right and the other person is in the wrong.

The empowering thing to do when something negative happens in life, is to become aware of our part in attracting it. We need to look in the mirror and take responsibility for our thoughts and beliefs. These are the very things that create our negative and positive life events. We have no one to blame for a negative event but ourselves and our sloppy thinking/beliefs. Look at each negative event as a gift. It’s the gift of showing us which limiting thoughts/beliefs to clean up to change our life for the better.

Love Your Food

Love Your Food

I remember growing up saying a blessing before we ate our meals. I never quite understood why we did this until a few years ago when I learned the relationship between food and energy. This is a beautiful excerpt from the book Nourishing Traditions that reminds us the importance of being present in performing every daily task, even preparing our meals.

“If woman could see the sparks of light going forth from her fingertips when she is cooking and the substance of light that goes into the food she handles, she would be amazed to see how much of herself she charges into the meals that she prepares for her family and friends.

"It is one of the most important and least understood activities of life that the radiation and feeling that go into the preparation of food affect everyone who partakes of it, and this activity should be unhurried, peaceful and happy. It would be better that an individual did not eat at all than to eat food that has been prepared under a feeling of anger, resentment, depression or an outward pressure, because the substance of the lifestream performing the service flows into that food and is eaten and actually becomes part of the energy of the receiver. That is why the advanced spiritual teachers of the East never eat food prepared by anyone other than their own chelas. Conversely, if the one preparing the food is the only one in the household who is spiritually advanced and an active charge of happiness, purity, and peace pours forth into the food from him, this pours forth into the other members and blesses them. I might say that there are more ways than one of allowing the Spirit of God to enter the flesh of man.”  (Maha Chohan Electrons)

Our Most Important Relationship

One of the most important relationships we can have is with ourselves. We live in a go go go society and spend little time checking in with ourselves and noticing what we are feeling.

One of the keys to healing and living authentically is to know what we are feeling. Our feelings are powerful and most of us shy away from (or are terrified) of our negative feelings.

We have a full spectrum of emotions and they all land somewhere between love and fear. Most people let themselves allow either happy or sad in and stop there. This stopping or blocking our feelings limits us and our potential for full living. The further we can venture down the "negative emotional side" of the spectrum the opposite holds true and the more love, joy and happiness we can experience.

Here is a secret....we ALL experience loneliness, shame, “I'm a fraud,” “I don't matter” “I’m a failure” etc. but we spend our lives trying to cover these types of feelings up. We believe we are the only one that feels this way. We use vice after vice but they don't stop rising up. When we can allow ourselves to feel them, we are set free. We realize we won't die (this is the unconscious fear of feeling negative emotions).

We don't learn how to feel our feelings, (our parents didn't teach us), in fact most people encourage us to "get over it" and "move on" when we are in a negative state.

I heard Jill Bolte Taylor say that when we are fully feeling an emotion,  it only lasts about 90 seconds! The reason our feelings linger is because we sit in resistance to them. The mind gets in a battle with the body. The body has the emotion rising up and the mind pushes it down. So we get stuck in it, lingering in our pain.

Our goal is to allow all of our feelings come up and pass through us. The next time you feel like reaching for a glass of wine or that piece of cake, or zoning out on tv, ask yourself what you are feeling first. Sit in it and breathe it through. Watch what happens to your "craving." You may be surprised.

Why it’s Crucial for Women to Heal the Mother Wound

I came across this post by Bethany Webster and it resonated so deeply with me I wanted to point you to it. It’s a very powerful post on healing our mother wounds. Great information for those of us that are looking for empowerment and healing. 

Difficulty and challenges between mothers and daughters are rampant and widespread but not openly spoken about. The taboo about speaking about the pain of the mother wound is what keeps it in place and keeps it hidden in shadow, festering and out of view.

And later... 

Simply put, if a daughter internalizes her mother’s unconscious beliefs (which is some subtle form of “I’m not good enough”) then she has her mother’s approval but has in some way betrayed herself and her potential.

However, if she doesn't internalize her mother’s unconscious beliefs in her own limitations but rather affirms her own power and potential, she is aware that her mother may unconsciously see this as a personal rejection.

The daughter doesn’t want to risk losing her mother’s love and approval, so internalizing these limiting, unconscious beliefs is a form of loyalty and emotional survival for the daughter.

So powerful!

Bethany joined us for an amazing conversation the mother wound can dramatically impact our most important relationships, from our relationship with ourselves, to our partners and spouses, to our children as they grow up. Listen in on that great podcast episode here.

Read the rest at Womb of Light!

Would You Like to Experience Deeper More Connected Relationships?

I have people in my personal and professional life encountering "relationship issues" and desiring repair of these relationships. Actually, more than repair, we want deeper, more connected relationships. Yes, I used the word "we" so I am included in this. I realized recently that my husband and I have a great relationship and communicate very easily about just about everything. But, the things that bother us most about each other, we don't communicate. We may joke, be sarcastic or ignore what we want to express but I notice that this is where resentment comes from. This is something that creates the opposite of connection.

I brought this to his attention and he agreed that we do this and he too wants to go deeper and have a deeper connection. I know the answer to "how we do this"  is vulnerability, but unfortunately our shame gets in the way so we deny our feelings.

When I think of humans creating deep connections I realize so much of our "stuff" gets in the way which can block deep connections.

What occurs to me is that this "stuff" is so often our shame.

As I sat and contemplated all of this today, a client "ironically" emailed me the link to Brene Brown's video on shame. Timing???

I had seen this when it first came out and hadn't seen it since. I watched it again today and heard so many new points that I had missed the first time. If you have seen it in the past, I encourage you to watch it again. It's so good!

We cannot connect deeply with another if we are not being vulnerable and feel supported by another. What's ironic is that to support someone else is also being not only empathetic but also vulnerable.

What this means to me is that both parties must step into their vulnerability, acknowledge their shame but don't let it stop you, in order to connect deeply.

This is really moving....enjoy. Love you all.

Feeling Busy? Try Segment Intending to Visualize Your Desired Outcomes

Today it seemed like I had a list of things to do with very little time. I reviewed what I needed to get done and felt some stress come over me. Then I caught myself and remembered that because of the Law of Attraction (like thoughts and actions attract like thoughts and actions) if I stay in my stressed out place, more and more stress will come. However, the empowered me knew, if I create wisely, everything will get done in a timely manner stress-free! So how do we do this when our list is a mile long with very little time? Segment Intending.

Segment Intending is an intentional, focused creation in segments. Intention can be broken down throughout the day or simply for one activity. The key is that we spend focused time on how we would like the outcome to be, despite what others may say or our past experiences. For example, if we hear that the wait staff at a new restaurant that we want to try is rude, do we want to go to the restaurant expecting to have rude service OR do we create and intend for a new experience, a happy, fun waitstaff, and a great meal.

Using my day as an example: I had to exchange an item at the pet store, get a week’s worth of groceries and find 3 dressy outfits for a trip I am taking this week. I had 3 hours to do all of it. (Yes, the most stressful thing was finding the outfits in such a short amount of time).

So before I left my house I thought for about 2 minutes about what I had to do and then planned out my route and visualized the ease in my 3 tasks. I saw in my mind the exchange at the pet store.  There was no one in line and a clerk would be waiting to help me when I walked in. The exchange would be easy and quick (even though I did not have a receipt). I would be in and out in less than 5 minutes.

Next, I visualized my grocery shopping experience. I would walk in, focused, no distractions and would be in and out of there in 30 minutes with a week’s worth of groceries and some extras for when I am away (this would normally take me at least 60-90 minutes).

Lastly, I visualized my trip to the clothing store to find my 3 outfits for the important events that I will be attending this week while away. I will walk in and it will be as if the perfect dresses will be on the end rack, waiting for me to see them. If a dress is hidden, I will walk right up to the correct rack and pull it right out. It will be an incredibly easy and fun experience.

The outcome? The pet store was EXACTLY as I had intended, the grocery store was never quicker and I walked into one store and found 3 dresses right away and then one more store to find one more dress. I ended up buying 4 dresses because I could not decide on which one I liked more. It was the most efficient shopping experience I have ever had when buying specific outfits, and I made it home with time to spare!

Before we start each day, begin by creating the type of experiences we would like to have instead of living by default and allowing our day to just happen. Plan not only with a list but take two minutes to visualize and intend how easy and beautiful all experiences will be in our life each day.

LOVE = LOVE

Many of you have asked me if the stories in the previous post — I Challenge You — were real or made up. They are ALL REAL! I realize that it’s hard to believe that by spending 2 minutes (or less) a day feeling gratitude/appreciation about someone or something we can change relationships with whomever or whatever we are focusing on. BUT, in 2 words…THIS WORKS! I have had countless examples come in since I wrote this blog post.

But How?

When we focus on something and hold appreciation/gratitude for it we are actually filling our bodies with more light. When we fill up with more light energy we then attract more light to us.  Simply stated, light energy is love energy. Because the law of attraction is always in force, just as the law of gravity is always in force, when we fill ourselves with love we can then only attract more love into our lives! Remember, like attracts like. It’s a real simple formula and works very quickly.

The Dilemma

It’s difficult to spend time focusing on the good in someone we don’t have a great relationship with, let alone that we are upset with. Our ego/mind makes us question ourselves with ideas like, “Why would you feel love let alone gratitude for someone that has hurt you?” “Don’t let them “win” this, they need to be punished!” Our ego/mind finds a ton or reasons to keep us “right” but the problem is, whether we are right or not, it keeps us stuck where we are. We remain unhappy, uncomfortable and miserable when we think of this person,  unable to move into a healthier relationship with the person we are wanting to heal the relationship with!

Don't be right. Be happy!

So stop being right and simply be happy. The way to be happy is to spend as little as 30 seconds to 2 minutes a day on someone or something you would like to have a changed relationship with. THIS WORKS! When your mind wants to drift back into being right or not thinking thoughts of gratitude because the mind says the other person needs to be punished GO TO YOUR HAPPY PLACE of gratitude/appreciation with them.

My Example

I myself have had an extremely difficult 2 months with a family member. My sister and I are dealing with some family issues that arerelated to an uncle that brought much unhappiness to our family (our entire childhood) that we now have to take care of. He has dementia so he treats us badly much of the time which makes it extremely difficult to continue to do what we are doing for him. We continually hear how disappointed he is in us and angry he is. It begins to wear on us after a point.

After the first few weeks, my sister and I began to hit road blocks with insurance companies, realtors, dmv  and other people and companies we were working with on behalf of my uncle. I realized that after a few weeks of my uncle yelling at us and being so ungrateful we began to speak negatively of him and WE WERE CREATING THESE ROAD BLOCKS!

I recommended we find something we can appreciate about him, anything. This was difficult for us as our childhoods with him did not provide much if anything to be grateful for. BUT, we sat with it and found a couple things. My sister chose to see herself fishing with him and my father when she was 5 years old. I chose to see myself on his shoulders while water skiing like I used to do when I was 8. Those 2 experiences brought us joy. We began to focus on these whenever a negative thought would come in and we wanted to complain about him. Things began to turn around in days for us, everything began to fall into place. It was magical and amazing how fast things changed.

We learned such a great lesson in those few weeks. We learned how quickly we can change our lives with thought.

Key Points

  1. Our thoughts and words manifest experiences extremely quickly.
  2. We MUST stop talking about anything negative as it will create more negativity.
  3. Find the “happy place” and hold that gratitude for 30 seconds to 2 minutes, even when that other person is not being nice to us. THIS alone can change our lives.

Don't say "I don't have time to do this." It's honestly 30 seconds a day. Who doesn't have 30 seconds to change their lives? We spend hours at the gym every week to change our bodies but we won't stay in bed an extra 30 seconds to a minute and focus on positives or appreciation to change our relationship with someone? By sticking with gratitude, we are living a life from love and can only bring more love in, it is law. LOVE =LOVE.

How do I stop the thoughts in my head?

You're in a meeting and you're the CEO. The voices around the table are all vying for your attention. Some of them are angry. Some are judgmental. Some are sad because of some choice you've made. As the CEO, what do you do? That's what we're talking about in today's vlog! Hope you take a few minutes to listen and, just maybe, take your seat as the big boss!