My goal is to spend as much time living in balance as possible. Being that we are human and have ego’s that feed us fear based thoughts we all get thrown off from time to time.

What I have learned that helps is to have a “Default Thought” when we feel ourselves begin to slide emotionally. A default thought is a thought we can  immediately go to when something causes us to slide out of balance emotionally.

It can be a place in the past, present, future or even a made up place. We imagine that place when anything throws us emotionally. It will help us to disassociate from the situation causing us stress and bring us back to balance.

Buddism teaches us that when something happens in our experience, we need not let it “hook us,” to pull us in, to get lost in it feeling like we can’t get out.  When it “hooks us,” we begin to slide down the emotional scale, drowning with the emotion. We then reach for something to pull us out like food, alcohol, tv to numb our pain. We can accomplish the same relief in a positive way when we pull in our default thought.

Research has shown that a human emotion lasts only 1.5 minutes and it’s released. If we are feeling anything after 1.5 minutes, we are Continue Reading

When we speak in absolutes like these we limit ourselves, which creates anxiety because we feel stuck, like there is no way out. We all use them. Here are a few examples:

• I will NEVER lose this weight!
• I ALWAYS lose at this game.
• ABSOLUTELY not!
• I would NEVER take a chance on that, it’s too risky.
• If you EVER talk to me like that again…

There are many others that we use but you get the idea.

These words limit us, limit our potential. We must make every attempt to become aware of when we are speaking with absolutes. They are powerful words and very limiting to the creation of our future realities.

Re-read the statements from above or look at some of your own and question them.  This is how we must speak to ourselves (and others) when these words slip out.

For example:

• I will NEVER lose this weight!  Never??
• My husband is ALWAYS late, it make me so mad!   ALWAYS??

When we question the absolute, we find that it’s not true! This powerful act of simply questioning the statements that we make to ourselves and others can relieve created anxiety. Anxiety is born from the future feeling hopeless and having no Continue Reading

Have you recently been tired or even exhausted lately? Have you not been able to wake up in the morning or felt like you needed a nap during the day? You are not alone!

I feel compelled to write about this as I have had almost every person I spoke with last week tell me how tired they were. I have had people ask me if they were depressed, had issues with thyroid or even mono. The common theme has been fatigue and/or shaky emotional states. Don’t rush to the doctor just yet, and don’t read into your symptoms.

This fatigue that people have been feeling is two-fold; it is partly due to the realignment of our energy since the earthquake. The Japan earthquake moved the coast of Japan 8 FEET and moved the earth 4 inches off its axis.  As our earth realigns itself everything on it must also realign itself to the earth’s energy. We must remember that everything is energy and everything finds its balance when out of balance. Our energetic bodies have been thrown out of balance and are now in a realignment process with the earth. This is very tiring on us and creates fatigue. Honor that your body is tired and get extra sleep during this time.

Another reason for fatigue is the tremendous fear in our atmosphere. Continue Reading

With everything going on in the world I find it time to address some questions people are having on why they are experiencing so much fear and run away thoughts that lead them into anxiety, sadness or even mild depression.

There are a couple factors to consider as to why we are feeling so much fear.

The first is that of law of attraction. This law states that like attracts like, in other words, like thoughts attract more like thoughts.

The second is the amount of fear on our planet right now. This is happening for a few reasons. The first we can consider is Iraq and the war we have participated in for years. Secondly we have had numerous natural disasters over the last few years.  Lately these events have been one right after the next, major catastrophic events all over the US and even the world, from hurricanes and flooding to earthquakes. How does this affect us?  When one single person has a fearful thought, it literally launches out of us and finds other like thoughts and they collect or clump together. This is also known as the collective consciousness, a collection of thoughts that collect that are similar.

Think of the smog in San Francisco. It’s a thick Continue Reading

Every spoken word or statement is creating our next move, our future realities. Yet we limit ourselves and make ourselves feel stuck with how we speak.

It’s time we tune into our statements and conversations.

I hear people say statements all the time like…

“ I am so depressed…” “I am so fat…” “I am so upset with my husband, he frustrates me to no end!” “I hate my job.” “I can’t stop crying, this grief is consuming me.” “I can’t stand my in-laws, we will never get along.”

All of these types of statements make us feel stuck and disempowered with no solution. They create a certain level of anxiety within us, and if we don’t release it, it only builds and gets worse!

We state these types of statements to our friends or family and then they give us feedback and validation (that we are right to feel this way) and typically we walk away not feeling any better, still stuck with that bad feeling.

A very easy solution we can all do to open up our limiting speech is to add two simple words that can change our reality…”For Now.”

By adding “For Now” onto the end of a sentence it helps us to realize that our current agony is actually temporary. Continue Reading

A group of women in my son’s class wanted a “luncheon for the ladies,” so I volunteered and cancelled my entire day of work to offer this luncheon in my home.  I planned, prepared, cleaned and started shopping for my big event. The day before the luncheon, I sent out a reminder email and one by one, the regrets started coming in. When the final head count was a whopping 3 attendee’s I decided to cancel it.

Everyone said thank you and how sorry they were for saying they were coming and then cancelling at the last minute etc. I felt nothing after the first few regrets came in but then began feeling an angry monster inside of me start to awaken with every regret that came in thereafter. A few of my friends commented that it was awful to cancel so last minute etc. This was like throwing fuel on the fire. I could feel this anger rise up inside of me and I began to chime in with my friends on how terrible it was then I decided to stop. DECIDED is the key word here.

I was about to text one of my friends in the class (that was coming) and I stopped dead in my tracks and put my phone down. I said to myself, “why do I need to create drama around this?” “It’s not personal…” “In fact it’s actually a Continue Reading

We all want something…more money, a better relationship with someone, our boss to like us, more friends, weight loss, to overcome a fear, something. Take your pick.

What we typically do is want and wait for “it” to happen. When “it” doesn’t happen we give up and go back to things the way they were. Many of us even say, “I tried but it didn’t happen for me.”

One way to make some serious changes in our lives is to “Act As If” we have already accomplished our goal. Let nothing get in our way, let no one sway us otherwise, just do it.

If we want that better relationship with our husband, it won’t happen automatically. First decide what you want:  More communication, more sex, intimacy, pick one. Think then for a moment how you would react or treat him differently when your desires are met. Imagine in your mind him treating you as you desire and how you will react to that. Then continue acting as if he is treating you this way and continue living this way. Acting as if…

Another example is money. If you want more money in your life, imagine for a moment how you will feel when more  money comes in. How will you emotionally live differently? How will you feel? How will you Continue Reading

Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy — the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.

Brene Brown
From the book:
“The Gifts of Imperfection” Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are – Your Guide To A Wholehearted Life Continue Reading

I love complimenting people on something that I admire: a new hair cut, new shoes, nice outfit, a decoration, a child’s behavior etc.

What I have noticed, is how uncomfortable we are with receiving compliments! When we receive a compliment we quickly rebut with downplaying the compliment, or even avoiding it, as if it’s somehow painful to acknowledge.  The typical response is: “Oh, these shoes, I got them at Target on sale.” OR “This outfit, I have had it for years!” OR “You are just seeing my son on a good day, usually he is not this well behaved.”

Why can’t we let people see that we may have a great kid?! Why can’t we proudly wear an outfit regardless of the age? Why must we make excuses and deflect when we receive a compliment?

The biggest question is why can’t we just say “THANK YOU” when we receive a compliment? Thank you can be a complete sentence! There is no explaining necessary, no excuses needed, just  “Thank You.”

I became aware that as I was teaching my children about apologizing to each other after a disagreement or if one of them hurt the other one, their exchange to each other was typically something like this, “Sorry for hitting you,” and the Continue Reading

“One of the most important ways to develop self worth is to respect yourself. This means not putting yourself down and learning to assert yourself when you feel that your boundaries have been crossed or ignored.”  -Author Unknown

On the heels of the last post, Talk Back, this quote caught my eye as it touches on some of my  favorite topics: self worth, self talk and boundaries.

I hear time and time again, “I am not worthy… (of this or that)” or the excuse of… “Must be my worthiness issue.” This quote sums up the importance of not only setting boundaries but speaking up for ourselves when someone has crossed that fine line of one of our boundaries.

What is more common is to beat up on ourselves when someone does or says something not nice or WHAT WE PERCEIVE to be not nice.  It may have nothing to do with us; but, our inner critic has a field day with negative self talk.

When we speak up for ourselves either to that inner critic OR to someone that crossed one of our boundaries,  it is an act of self love and respect which only creates self worth.

Continue Reading